I must be too annoying 4 u.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
