you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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