I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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