if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
