new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
