I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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