i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize