would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
