It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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