Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
