So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
