'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
