It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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