Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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