that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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