a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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