oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
