We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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