My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
