I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
