we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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