Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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