I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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