I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
