There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize