I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
