If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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