YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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