ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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