He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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