Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
