So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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