My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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