I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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