But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
