Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
