i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
