He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
