burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
