My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
