i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
