What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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