i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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