Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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