he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
