I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
