I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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