he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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