Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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