She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
