No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
