I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
