clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
