If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
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He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
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He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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