I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
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