I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
