Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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