p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
