That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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