Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
