Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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