Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
