Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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